A Time For Purification

At first glance, today seemed like just another ordinary day. I took my boys to Vacation Bible school, played with my 2 year old, worked on laundry, and made a banana creme pie. As I sorted through tiny socks and character t-shirts, I began to quietly reflect on my days as a single mother. During that time in my life (it just seemed to drag forever), I carried around so many burdens. I worked from dawn until dusk to barely put bread on the table. I relied heavily upon my mother to pick up the slack with my own children... and I had a deep, deep longing to be loved & appreciated. I had not yet moved to the point of realizing Jesus was the only love I would ever need and the only One who would truly validate me.... and it wasn't until I finally accepted this truth that He gave me a wonderful husband. A husband that, although not perfect, fills my heart and is truly committed to our relationship. You see, God does have a perfect order for everything - and when we love HIM first, he will grant us the desires of our heart. You know why? Because when we relinquish control, His desires suddenly become our desires. I am totally convinced of this.

Sometimes, God will put us through a time of testing or purification so that His will may be done...to see us refined like gold. I believe this time of testing or purification is necessary in order to receive God's blessing and complete favor. All throughout the Bible, this is evident. It rained for 40 days & nights when Noah and his family lived on the arc. The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years. Moses stayed atop Mount Sinai for 40 days. Eli led the Israelites for 40 years. Goliath came for 40 days before being killed by David. Jesus fasted for 40 days in the wilderness....and those are just off the top of my head. The list goes on. I thought about my own circumstances and wondered if there was a period of time in my life when God put me through the same thing.

So, I am realizing yet again just how much the Lord has transformed my life. I am pretty amazed at how quickly things have changed for our family. Lately, my mind has been set on Fall activities for my children and purchasing a home school curriculum. I am quickly moving into uncharted waters, so it's very easy to allow fear and uncertainty to set in. With our current schedule, I am beginning to wonder how I will ever fit everything into a 7 day week. I anxiously walked over to the calendar to count the days until we start. I think I must have laughed a little when I realized the number of days left....

Forty, to be exact.

May I embrace tomorrow with open arms. May I keep my eyes and ears open to everything God wants to show me. May I find the strength and courage to teach my children and lead them down a righteous path. May I move into full obedience to Jesus Christ, never compromising who I am. May the Lord purify my heart. May He refine it like gold.